No, I'm not referring to the musical, and I'm not going camping. Both alternatives sound much more pleasant right now. I am talking about how I feel.
Last week my hubby and I took our little man to see a specialist at Johns Hopkins. I was hoping that she would smile and reassure me as all the other doctors have that everything is fine, that all kids are different, and that my little Bubba is just taking his own sweet time to talk. My heart felt like it was squeezed by a vice grip when , at the end of her evaluation , she suddenly got serious and told us that something was not right. She then ran down a list of possibilities, none of which you want to hear as a parent. Thank goodness none of it is life threatening or anything like that. I'm sorry I am being so vague, but right now, until we learn more, I don't want to say much.
On Monday I spent a good part of the day on the phone scheduling more appointments and doing research on the internet.
I feel like I have walked into a dark forest and I don't know how to find my way out. I just don't want to do this.
I know there are other parents out there with sweet little children of their own dealing with much more serious conditions. I am thankful that my little guy has a strong healthy body, that he is happy, that he is learning and growing, and that he brings so much joy and happiness into the lives of those who are lucky enough to know him. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.