Friday, September 17, 2010

Finding a rythym

Wow. Time seems to keep flying by, as always. I can hardly believe summer is taking its final bow, and autumn is waiting in the wings. The color has started to creep into the neighborhood trees, and the temperature has cooled.

I love this time of year. Usually I eagerly await the arrival of fall, but no so much this year. I think the 2 ginormous blizzards last winter are still a little too fresh in my memory.

My little family is trying to find our new rhythm as schedules change and there is still so much uncertainty in our little world.

Braden continues to trek to Maryland to a temp. job. Bubba has started preschool again. Baby C is super mobile (not walking yet- thank heavens, but super fast with the army crawl. ) Little girl is as curious as anything, and wants to try everything! I'm still working my way out of post partum fog and trying to keep a positive attitude about all the unknowns.

The biggest issue my little family is facing right now is Braden's job. Yes, he has a temp job that we are ever-so-thankful for, however he took a huge pay cut and we have no insurance. I had to take Baby C to the Doctor a few weeks ago. Lets just say I really had NO CLUE how expensive a simple office could be! Forget the medications we had to get! YIKES!

Our savings has been floating us through the past 3 months, but we can't keep this up forever. The big decision we are facing now is whether or not to sell out home. Just typing that gives me chills. We just bought our home- like just over a year ago. I love our home. I love our neighborhood. I love that I can walk to church on Sundays. I love the area we live in.

I have spent many nights over the past few months laying in bed, unable to sleep, thinking about what is going to happen to us. I hate all the uncertainty.

About a week ago as I was praying I had the thought that no matter what, no matter where we end up, whether it be in this house or another tiny cramped apartment, I have everything I really care about. I have my beautiful little family, and as long as we are together it doesn't really matter where we are. So, even though there is still a big fear factor for me I am able to be thankful for the most simple and important blessings I have.

In the days and weeks to come my goal is to be productive and proactive. I am going to not let uncertainty continue to stress me out to the point that the kids can pick up on it. I am going to play play-doh, and build lego towers, and finger paint, and go to the park, and build forts out of couch cushions, and have afternoon dance parties with all the windows open. I am going to stick to a budget and a menu. I am going to continue serving in my responsibilities at church to the best of my abilities. I am going to continue to exercise and stay healthy. I am going to keep painting our home, and continue setting it up the way we want it. I am going to continue praying like crazy, and fasting, and believing that an answer will come. I am going to do all that I can do, and then I am going to leave the rest up to God. I know he knows our needs and that he answers prayers. So until we learn what the next step is for our family we will find our rhythm and go with it.

Pray for us, will you?

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