my happy place

Finding a rythym

2010-09-17T09:28:00.004-04:00

Wow. Time seems to keep flying by, as always. I can hardly believe summer is taking its final bow, and autumn is waiting in the wings. The color has started to creep into the neighborhood trees, and the temperature has cooled.

I love this time of year. Usually I eagerly await the arrival of fall, but no so much this year. I think the 2 ginormous blizzards last winter are still a little too fresh in my memory.

My little family is trying to find our new rhythm as schedules change and there is still so much uncertainty in our little world.

Braden continues to trek to Maryland to a temp. job. Bubba has started preschool again. Baby C is super mobile (not walking yet- thank heavens, but super fast with the army crawl. ) Little girl is as curious as anything, and wants to try everything! I'm still working my way out of post partum fog and trying to keep a positive attitude about all the unknowns.

The biggest issue my little family is facing right now is Braden's job. Yes, he has a temp job that we are ever-so-thankful for, however he took a huge pay cut and we have no insurance. I had to take Baby C to the Doctor a few weeks ago. Lets just say I really had NO CLUE how expensive a simple office could be! Forget the medications we had to get! YIKES!

Our savings has been floating us through the past 3 months, but we can't keep this up forever. The big decision we are facing now is whether or not to sell out home. Just typing that gives me chills. We just bought our home- like just over a year ago. I love our home. I love our neighborhood. I love that I can walk to church on Sundays. I love the area we live in.

I have spent many nights over the past few months laying in bed, unable to sleep, thinking about what is going to happen to us. I hate all the uncertainty.

About a week ago as I was praying I had the thought that no matter what, no matter where we end up, whether it be in this house or another tiny cramped apartment, I have everything I really care about. I have my beautiful little family, and as long as we are together it doesn't really matter where we are. So, even though there is still a big fear factor for me I am able to be thankful for the most simple and important blessings I have.

In the days and weeks to come my goal is to be productive and proactive. I am going to not let uncertainty continue to stress me out to the point that the kids can pick up on it. I am going to play play-doh, and build lego towers, and finger paint, and go to the park, and build forts out of couch cushions, and have afternoon dance parties with all the windows open. I am going to stick to a budget and a menu. I am going to continue serving in my responsibilities at church to the best of my abilities. I am going to continue to exercise and stay healthy. I am going to keep painting our home, and continue setting it up the way we want it. I am going to continue praying like crazy, and fasting, and believing that an answer will come. I am going to do all that I can do, and then I am going to leave the rest up to God. I know he knows our needs and that he answers prayers. So until we learn what the next step is for our family we will find our rhythm and go with it.

Pray for us, will you?

Iron Man and I are not friends

2010-07-16T13:53:00.003-04:00

So, this is the story about how Ironman and I had a falling out.

Yes, I am referring to the comic book character.

I go to Target almost every day (Don't judge me. Its just about a mile away, air conditioned, and my kids and I can burn off some energy, and lighten our bank account all at the same time :) ). Every time we go we make a detour to look at the Thomas the Tank Engine toys. Both my older kids have an affinity for Thomas. I don't mind letting my kids browse the toy isle. They know the meaning of the word "no", and they don't have melt downs when I say its time to move on.

Anyway, on the same isle as Thomas they have the realistic looking animal figures made by Schleich. Bubba has been saving money to buy a whale. The marine biologist part of me couldn't be more proud! That is until a week or so ago. On the same isle are all the Ironman movie figures, play sets, attire, etc. Bubba asked me "Mama, what's that?" I told him it was Ironman. He pushed a few buttons on one of the larger toys, and that was that. Or so I thought.

On our last trip to the library Bubba spotted an Ironman book with the level 1 easy readers. He insisted on checking it out. After reading it to him about 1000 times I hid it.

Fast forward to our next trip to the toy isle at Target- Bubba skips right past Thomas and the whale he has been saving for and heads right towards Ironman. "I want to buy this" he says as he holds up some red and gold mass marketed action figure with sound and lights. "Don't you want to buy your whale first?" I asked. " I don't want a whale. I want IRONMAN!" (you should have heard the way he said Ironman. Excitement and reverence all in one word). At that moment Ironman and I became enemies.

Braden thought the whole scene was funny. That is until he saw that it actually brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I cried. Yes, the marine biologist part of me was a little taken off guard. But it was right then and there that I realized that Bubba is not a baby, and is all too quickly growing out of little boyhood.

Ironman, you can't have my little boy. I'm not giving him up without a fight.

More Bullet Points :)

2010-07-15T09:23:00.002-04:00

* Braden is still looking for a job. He has had several interviews, but we are just playing the waiting game. In the meantime he has been commuting about 3 1/2 hours a day to a temp. job. It is hard on him. Its hard on me. Its really hard on the little ones.

* My little 3 ring circus has been sick. Fevers, coughs, congested lungs, and puke. I think I'm getting it :P

* I am amazed that my littlest is 6 months already! Where did that time go? He is a content happy little man that melts my heart with each and every smile and giggle.

* I'm taking another break from running since my knees and feet aren't liking it very much at all. I've been walking inside instead. You read that right. I've been walking inside- as in my family room. I have a date with Leslie Sansone every morning after Baby C has his 6 am bottle. It has been too hot and humid, even at 6 am, to do much of anything outside. I think I'm going to add some Yoga to the mix, and maybe a deep water running class if I can find one locally.

* I have been seriously considering cutting all my hair cut off. Like all of it! My hair keeps falling out by the handfuls as it did after I had my other two babies. This time it seems worse though. I have balding spots. Yikes!

* I've been getting phone calls from Braden just because, or silly texts from my friend Geoff, or "I love you Mommy", and a thousand other little things to make me smile just when I seem to need them the most. I am thankful for these tender mercies.

* The other night Braden and I were up late watching Mythbusters. Neither of us wanted to go to bed. I don't remember what myths they were testing, but we were both laughing. Laughing so hard I might have actually snort laughed a few times. It was awesome :)

An open letter to my Mr. Thomas

2010-07-08T11:19:00.003-04:00

Dear Mr. Thomas,

You know that I love you. You know that I appreciate all that you do for me, for our family, and for our home. I think you are amazing, but you are only human. You need to eat and sleep like the rest of us. Seeing that you are only human, I called the exterminator today to take care of the eight-legged monsters living in our basement. The final straw came this morning when one of the little buggars dropped down in front of my face to say "hello" as I was loading the washer.

I know you have promised to evict all our little creepy crawly friends yourself, but there just aren't enough hours in the day to do everything that you need and want to do.

When the exterminator comes early next week I will let you stay home to write her the check (yes, the exterminator is a girl!). Will that help you feel like you kept your promise?

Since we haven't really budgeted for an exterminator I promise to cut back on my smoothie habit for the rest of the summer even though it is 10 billion degrees outside.

Love Always ,
Your Mrs. Thomas

Bullet Point Update

2010-07-07T14:33:00.002-04:00

* I'm melting in 100+ temperatures.
* I'm trying to get back into a regular exercise routine so I can start training for the Big Sur Marathon in May 2011.
* Our 4th of July was fabulously low-key, and we loved it that way.
* Thinking about skipping preschool this next year for Bubba and putting him in a neighborhood Joy School. (Does anyone have any experience with this?)
* Trying to clean up and clear out. You think with 400o square feet we would have plenty of room for everything, and we do. I just don't want to have so much "stuff".
* Trying to find the motivation to unpack all the boxes we have left over from out move last year. I am of the opinion that if we haven't used it in a year then we really don't need it.

I Never Dreamed...

2010-06-25T09:58:00.002-04:00

I never dreamed that:

*I would live on the East Coast.

* That it would take me 12 years to finally feel at home on the East Coast ( I never wanted to live in Utah forever, but oh how I miss my family and those mountains!)

*That I would have 3 babies 3 years and under.

*That I would be married for almost 8 years before having children.

*That I would live with my inlaws at two different times totaling almost 3 years (something I would never recommend to anyone).

*That we wouldn't buy our first home until we had been married 11 years.

*That I would be pregnant 10 times and only have 3 children.

*That I would have my heart broken and my beliefs shaken by a series of miscarriages.

*That I would actually learn to make peace with, and even find joy in the seemingly simple everyday tasks of being a stay at home mom.

* That I would have the opportunity to take several long road trips with my Mom (something I will remember,and be thankful for forever).

* That one of my best friends would be a 15 year old rescue dog.

* That my life would be rocked by postpartum depression.

* That I would be a college freshman twice.

* That being a mom would teach me how to see things in an entirely new way.

I know this list could go on forever. My point to all of this is is that no matter how well you plan life it often takes you somewhere you never imagined. And that is a good thing.

I'm still alive, but just barely.

2010-06-17T15:44:00.003-04:00

I know my blogging regularity stinks. My blog might as well be nonexistent, but here I am anyway. I have so much on my mind, and well, its going to end up spilling over here.

So, here I am. A momma to 3 babies 3 years and younger. I have the most beautiful little ones in the world. I am so lucky be to their momma. Lately I feel like they are getting the short end of the stick.

Confession time: I am a DISASTER!

We found out that Braden is getting laid off. As in by the end of the month we will be jobless! YIKES!

On top of that I am in the thick of post partum depression. Most days are a blur, and it takes every ounce of energy I can muster to just get out of bed and get through breakfast. Then, by nothing short of a miracle I seem to be able to make it through the morning, past lunch time, and make it to nap time. After that things are kind of a blur and next thing I know it 7 pm an I need to feed my kiddos dinner, get them into the tub and into bed. I don't even feel human most days. I just feel like I'm on autopilot watching this sad and tired woman drag herself around trying her best to keep it together. That's all I want to say about that for right now. I could write a thousand posts on this related to this, but I won't . At least not now :)

Sounds like fun doesn't it. Well, if you can believe it, it get better than that.

My dad has cancer. There, I said it. My family has suspected as much for several years, but my dad being who he is didn't want to get it checked and taken care of (that sounds really horrible, but there you have it). A few weeks ago he ended up in the ER, and then admitted to the hospital for almost a week. So now I'm trying to figure out how to process all of this too. My dad is one of my biggest heroes. I am 33 and I still need my dad.

I live 2000 miles away from the rest of my family. I feel isolated and so very alone.

Braden has been a huge support, but he is stressed and it is starting to take its toll on him. He doesn't sleep well. He forgets to eat. He just looks tired and gray (don't get me wrong I still think he is as handsome as ever, and maybe even more than ever).

I have been finding myself saying a million silent prayers throughout the day. Prayers for strength, prayers for health, prayers that a job will be found, prayers of thanks for the 3 little ones that love me unconditionally, prayers that I can have the faith to get through this, prayers that I can feel something other than sad, prayers for comfort for my family, etc.

I have been through tough times before. I came out on the other end of a trial of heinous proportions in 2004 having learned so much. I learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I learned that I am loved by so many people. I learned how to forgive. I learned that my Heavenly Father knows me, and trusts me.

I am thankful to know that ALL things can be for my benefit and that families can be together for eternity.

So, now what.......

I dream about this stuff.......

2010-02-03T13:52:00.002-05:00

12 years ago I worked at Deer Valley Ski Resort in Park City Utah (Just for the record that is where I met my cute husband Braden. I was a lift operator and he was a ski instructor. If you ever want to hear the full story just ask me sometime).Anyway, back to the point of this.......Deer Valley is known not only for amazing groomed ski runs, amazing customer service, and amazing cute ski instructors, but also for TURKEY CHILI!

Since moving to the East Coast almost 11 years ago, every winter, and several times throughout the year, I crave Turkey Chili. Even as I type this my mouth is watering.....
Every time I visit family in Utah I make my pilgrimage to Deer Valley for a bowl of this addicting yumminess.

Today, here I sit 2000 miles away from Utah, and my beloved chili. So, what is a girl to do......

Use Google of course!

I found this:
www.reluctantgourmet.com/dvchili.htm

You better believe I'm going to make this in the next day or two.

I'll let you know how it turns out......

P.S. If you happen to live in Utah, do me a favor and go have a bowl of chili for me.

2010- An adventure waiting to happen

2010-01-27T12:03:00.003-05:00

I can hardly believe that another year has passed. Time really does fly wether you are having fun or not.

I look at the changes in my life over the past year and it makes my head spin. I am amazed at how blessed I am!

Nearly a year ago exactly our little family was muddling our way through a battery of tests including an EEG and an MRI trying to figure out why my oldest wasn't speaking.

I thank God that the specialist we saw was wrong when she said that it was most likely my son would never speak.

Bubba has amazed us as his speech came fast and furious! The speech therapists that have worked with us are just as amazed as we are. Even still he rambles on about one thing or another (usually it is something about Thomas the Tank Engine) and it just sounds like music to my ears.

My heart has been filled to overflowing with thanks countless times as he has said prayers at bedtime and as he has learned to sing simple Primary songs (his favorites are I Love to see the Temple, and I Am A Child Of God).

I know it sounds a little selfish, but when we were told that he might never speak I grieved because I so wanted to hear my little guy say "I love you momma," something he does now several times throughout the day.

My little princess has grown up so much over the past year too. I can't believe that she will be 2 years old in May!

There is not a day that goes by that she doesn't make me laugh.

She talks as well as her big brother, loves to sing and dance, and loves to wear hats and shoes. She also loves be where her brother is, and do whatever he is doing.

Her bright eyes and beautiful smile have pulled me out of a bad mood so many times.

Our newest addition to the family has been such a blessing the short 2 weeks he has been here.

I couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby! Our little lamb has slept through the night (7 + hours since the day he was born, with the exception of 2 days). His sweet spirit has melted away most of my fears of being a mom to 3 little ones.

The night he was born, after I was settled into my hospital room, and the nurses had finished checking on us, I just held him and looked into his tiny, perfect face, and I was filled with such a sense of love, not just for my son, but also for my Heavenly Father who had entrusted me with the care for 3 of his children.

Over the past 12 months we moved and purchased our first home. YAY!

We LOVE our neighborhood! We love having a back yard. We love having friendly neighbors. We love that we are closer to Braden's work (his commute went from an average of 60 minutes to an average of 25 minutes!)

Over the past 12 months Braden has been able to retain his job when so many have either been laid off or have taken pay cuts.

Yep- our little family has surely been blessed. I am so thankful for the good, the challenges, the trials, and the adventures that have brought my family to where we are today.

I look forward to the adventures the new year holds for my family, and I pray that we may continue to face the inevitable trials and challenges with faith and strength.

I AM still alive.....mostly :)

2009-12-18T16:56:00.002-05:00

I had the best intentions of keeping this blog updated when I started it. I really did, I promise.

Here I find myself again, months removed from my last little visit here.
I am now 8 months pregnant, and ready to have this baby already. By ready I mean physically ready only. I am beyond done feeling the size of a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon.

This pregnancy has not been an easy one for me. In fact it has been nothing short of HEINOUS! I didn't get morning sickness, or haven't had any pregnancy problems at all. In fact, minus the 8 or so weeks of smells making me feel queezy, this pregnancy has been super easy.I have had contractions, some painful for months, but nothing too concerning. The problem has been pregnancy induced depression. It seems there isn't a day that goes by that I wonder what on earth I could have been thinking when I said I was ready for another little one. I feel overwhelmed. There are still boxes to be unpacked from our move (more than I'd care to publically admit), my kids have watched more movies than I care to own up to, I have spent far too much time with my backside stuck in a chair and counting the hours till nap time and bedtimes.I find myself being short tempered with my kids and Braden. I often feel like the worst mom in the world, which leads back to me wondering why on earth I'm having another baby. There have been several nights each week for months when I cry at night telling Braden that the best thing for this baby would be to put it up for adoption ( Braden just holds me and tells me that he believes in me, and that he couldn't think of a better mom for our kids than me. He reminds me that they are happy and growing up good, and that they both love to learn, and love eachother. Then when he says prayers he asks the Lord to bless me with strength, and with peace, and to help me know how much he appreciates my efforts on behalf of our little family.)

Anyway, I started this rambling because I just had a little reality check. Both my kids are feeling under the weather. AGAIN (we had a round of swine flu visit us right before Thanksgiving, and were just starting to feel like things were back to normal). They are both still happy and animated. They just have runny noses, slight fevers, and Bubba has been throwing up. Well, I was sitting there on the couch feeling tired and overwhelmed, and my little girl walked over to me handed me a Tigger toy, smiled at me and said "Tiger. Rrrraaaaarrrr." For some reason her little interaction, her big, bright blue eyes gazing up at me, and her perfect little smile touched my heart. Looking at my two beautiful little ones, and knowing the sweet spirit they have brought into our home, and into my life, how could I not want another baby? If this little guy that I am carrying is anything like his brother and sister, how could I not want 10 more?!

Once again I find myself thankful to the Lord for his tender mercies. For the little reminders that He is at the helm, and if I put my trust in him I have nothing to fear. How thankful I am to be a mother. How thankful I am to know that as long as I try I have not failed.

I don't expect being a mom to three little ones, ages 3 and under, is going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination. I am under no illusions that once I have this baby that I will suddenly feel the energy to paint, organize, or even clean our home, cook dinner,finish any of the countless projects that have been started and yet to be completed, and feel like I have a good schedule. I know that it may be years before I can wear clothes that don't end up with smeared with snot at some point during the day. But looking at my little family, and seeing how blessed I am, and how far we have come and accomplished together, I know I am blessed. I know that I will not be alone. I know that I have a family that loves me, imperfections and all.

Where has the time gone?!?!?!

2009-07-20T14:12:00.002-04:00

Holy Moly! I don't believe that it has been so long since posting anything! SO much has happened since I last popped in here!
Here are the highlights ( I promise to post pictures and go into detail soon-I PROMISE)

-Braden and I bought a home!
-We moved
-We are expecting baby #3 in late January 2010! (I will be momma to 3 babies aged 3 and younger!) :)

Ok, so that sums it up.

I'm still trying to navigate my way around the sea of boxes that we are still living out of. My life has become a blur of paint and new carpet, and I am EXHUASTED all of the time!

To those who responded to my lat "Pay it forward post" I have not forgotten about you. I just need to find the box your goodies got packed in and send them on their happy way. Be patient with me please :)

Ok, I will post again soon.

Pay It Forward

2009-02-20T15:01:00.003-05:00

So the other day I logged into my google account, clicked on the google reader option (in case there is still someone out there that doesn't know what google reader is, check it out. It is brilliant!) When my list of blogs came up I noticed a list in the right hand corner of the page of google suggested blogs. I had a few minutes to kill as I was waiting for a print job to finish, so I clicked on one of the blogs.

Ok, I am making this longer than it needs to be........

I found the blog Dances in the Rain.

There I saw the fun idea of doing a homemade/crafty pay-it-forward.

So, the first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will get a package in the mail from me in the next few weeks (hopefully when you least expect it!). Be sure send me your email address or shipping address so I can send you your little bit of craftiness ( I moderate all comments on my blog so I see all comments before they are posted. I promise I WILL NOT let your email or shipping address be posted for all of blogdom to see).

I love this idea because I love, love, LOVE getting stuff in the mail that isn't a bill or junk! I love homemade and crafty goodness !

There is a catch though.... if you are one of the first 3 to leave a comment, please pay it forward, and do something nice for 3 other people. You don't have to have to post anything on your blog, heck, you don't even have to have a blog, just promise you will pay it forward.

Have a great day :)

Show Me A Sign

2009-01-26T17:54:00.002-05:00

One of Bubba's Doctors, a developmental pediatrician, suggested our family learn sign language. Since Bubba understands everything we say, but doesn't really have a way of communicating with us, she suggested sign language was the way to go.

I am searching out classes that fit into our crazy schedule, but in the mean time we have all really enjoyed Baby Signing Time. Rachel the host is fun and energetic, the music is not obnoxious, the graphics are colorful, and the signs easy to understand and follow.

Bubba has been picking up the signs so fast. He remembers all of them after watching the DVD just once.

I am also in the process of looking for a preschool that signs. The doctor we saw thought it would be the best route to go for now since she doesn't think Bubba will have a normal vocabulary any time in the near future. Wish me luck with that........

We have made some big progress in the vocabulary department that I should mention. Bubba now says "baby", "juice", "Brandy" (our dog's name), "tent", "touch", "poop" and "duck" along with the handful of words he had before. We still occasionally get "pop out" words and phrases from him which blow my mind. The other day while his speech therapist was here he said "I'm too busy mom.", and when I was changing Bubba Dos' diaper I heard "Stinky diaper". Silly boy!

Give Me Strength....

2008-12-01T14:52:00.002-05:00

Its nearly 3 pm as I type this. Bubba is an hour over due for his nap, and is chattering away to himself in the hallway.

You think the little dude would be exhausted after only sleeping 8 hours last night (he usually sleeps 10 at night and then has an hour nap in the afternoon). Apparently he is still going strong.

I'm exhausted. I need at least an hour of down time.

I have been in survival mode a little too long. I need to feel like a human again.

I want to be a good mom, but I've been a little snappy and impatient lately.

I need patience and creativity, but those wells have run dry.

Give me the strength to make it to bed time..........

Money Can Buy Happiness :)

2008-11-21T16:39:00.000-05:00

Whoever said that money can't buy happiness never bought a 16 ounce bottle of bubbles for 84 cents at Walmart.

I entertained both of my kids for over an hour blowing bubbles. They both giggled and laughed. My oldest had a fabulous time chasing the bubbles around the living room, popping them, trying to kiss them, and even blowing a few himself. Happiness- sheer joy. All for less than a dollar!

2 Hours and 8 Minutes

2008-11-20T13:18:00.000-05:00

Its not the amount of time we spent in the theater during the last James Bond movie. Its not the amount of time my kids spent napping (I sure wish it was though ;) ). Nope- its the amount of time it took from when Braden got into his car at work to the time he walked in the door on Tuesday night. There was not weather issue to contend with, just plain old Beltway traffic. Grrrrrrr!

My Cup Runneth Over

2008-11-17T09:23:00.000-05:00

Late last week Braden called me from work at 10 am saying that he was coming home early. His computer was broken and wouldn't be fixed until the end of the day. Without a computer he couldn't do much more than return a few calls.

I love spending time with my hubby! Usually our saturdays are crammed with chores and activities, that we hardly spend more than a few hours just hanging out together. Sundays are sometimes just as crazy as workdays with all the meetings and visits Braden does for his calling as Ward Mission Leader. So, the idea of having Braden home during the week was a treat!

By the time Braden got home at 11, the kids had just gone down for an early nap. We jumped at the chance to get an extra hour of sleep as well. We have both been exhausted and feeling run down.

An blissful hour and a half later Bubba Dos woke up hungry. I brought her into bed to feed her and snuggle her for a few minutes. Not long after, Bubba came running in and climbed up onto the bed and promptly fell asleep in the middle. As I sat there snuggling my sleeping baby girl, and saw Braden and Bubba sleeping and all snuggled up, I realized that I was surrounded by the greatest blessings of my life. Right down to our crazy dog who had managed to jump up on the bed while we were napping :) My little family was happy, safe, and together. What more could a mother ask for? My heart swelled with thanks and awe for this sweet, perfect moment. And the love that I felt for my family was beyond description. My cup runneth over :)

In Another Universe.....

2008-11-13T15:09:00.000-05:00

My friend Geoff and I have joked about alternate realities or alternate universes. I'd like to think that in each of those universes my life is pretty much the same ( I love my little life - the good, the bad, and the downright heinous) with a few exceptions.

*First I would like the alternate reality where I live in the house pictures above. It is located just 15 short miles from Braden's job. It was on the market for several weeks, and I have spent far more time than I care to admit daydreaming about living there. I don't like that in this reality Braden commutes over an hour each way to work (And that is on a good day. If there is an accident on the Beltway, or if it is raining, or heaven forbid, snowing, it could easily double or triple the amount of time).
*Second I would like an alternate universe where someone has discovered a way to make dogs stop shedding. I spend about as much time vacuuming as I do daydreaming, and that is quite a lot my friend :)
* Third I would like that alternate reality where I don't have to have so much dental work done. I blame it on genetics, but whatever the cause is, all I know is that I have spent more time in a dental chair than I would wish on my worst enemy. Enough said.

Be Careful What You Wish For...

2008-11-12T14:48:00.000-05:00

Every night when Braden and I say prayers together after the kids are in bed we pray that or little guy will learn to use words to communicate with us. Occasionally we get a word here and there out of him such as "UP" or "NO", but not much more than that, and never more than one word at a time.

For the past few months I have been taking a class through the county's Infants and Toddlers Program to teach me how to better encourage communication. We learn several strategies, practice scenarios, and are video taped at home to gauge the progress. Today was a video taping day. Bubba and I started out playing with beads and stringing them onto a necklace. That interaction quickly deteriorated and turned into him rolling the beads across the table to me. One of the strategies we learned in class is to follow your child's lead. So bead rolling it was. After he had rolled several beads to me I collected them in my hand and stood up to give them back to him. When he saw me stand up he thought I was ending his little game, to which he promptly pointed to my vacant chair and said, clear as day, and with a very defiant 2 year old attitude,"NO! Mama SIT!" I nearly fell over I was so shocked.

I am so proud of my little guy figuring out how to not only talk, but how to string those words together to form a sentence. I don't know how thrilled I am about the way he said it though :)

Was his command a preview of things to come? I sure hope not!

Into The Woods

2008-11-05T19:24:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not referring to the musical, and I'm not going camping. Both alternatives sound much more pleasant right now. I am talking about how I feel.

Last week my hubby and I took our little man to see a specialist at Johns Hopkins. I was hoping that she would smile and reassure me as all the other doctors have that everything is fine, that all kids are different, and that my little Bubba is just taking his own sweet time to talk. My heart felt like it was squeezed by a vice grip when , at the end of her evaluation , she suddenly got serious and told us that something was not right. She then ran down a list of possibilities, none of which you want to hear as a parent. Thank goodness none of it is life threatening or anything like that. I'm sorry I am being so vague, but right now, until we learn more, I don't want to say much.

On Monday I spent a good part of the day on the phone scheduling more appointments and doing research on the internet.

I feel like I have walked into a dark forest and I don't know how to find my way out. I just don't want to do this.

I know there are other parents out there with sweet little children of their own dealing with much more serious conditions. I am thankful that my little guy has a strong healthy body, that he is happy, that he is learning and growing, and that he brings so much joy and happiness into the lives of those who are lucky enough to know him. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

Maybe Next Week.....

2008-10-28T14:38:00.000-04:00

So, I was all excited to document a week in my little life, but my camera had other plans. I experienced some "technical difficulties" , and was unable to take more than a handful of pictures.

I will tryt again next monday. I'm thinking that next week will be a better week any way.

In the mean time I'm off to finish sewing the kids Halloween costumes (Mr. Potato Head and a dalmation).

A Week In The Life...

2008-10-27T09:07:00.000-04:00

Today I am starting to document a week in my little family's life. I got the idea from the ever-so-talented and inspiring Ali Edwards.

I feel like time is just flying by, and I barely have time to catch my breath, let alone stop and realize what is going on around me.

So, for the next week I will be toting around my camera, and making notes of all our comings and goings.

Hopefully sometime before Christmas I will be able to turn all the pictures and notes into a small scrapbook. A way to remember my life at this point in time.

So, I'm off.....no time for blogging today. I have a "TO DO" list that is quite intimidating. I'll post some of the pictures I take today tomorrow.

2 Little Words

2008-10-20T15:07:00.000-04:00

"I'm Sorry."

These two little words can be some of the hardest words to say, but also some of the most essential. When said sincerely they can fix mistakes, heal wounds, clear understanding, soften hard hearts, and just make you ( and often someone else) feel better.

This past week I said "sorry" to a friend I thought I had lost years ago. I didn't know what else to say. Any other words couldn't explain or make sense of the rift between us. I'm thankful to have this person back in my life, even if only through emails.

10 Years

2008-10-16T18:42:00.000-04:00

10 years ago tomorrow I married my sweetheart. We have been through quite a lot together ( 2 kids, 5 moves, 2 cross country moves, 6 job changes, 3 graduations, 1 silly dog, 3 surgeries, 4 cars......) We have weathered some pretty heinous things together, and have come out the better for it.

I can't believe it has been 10 years! I am excited to see what the rest of forever brings.

I love you lots Mr. Thomas :)

Way To Go Momma

2008-10-15T15:44:00.001-04:00

This past Sunday I witnessed something at church that really has made me stop and evaluate myself this week. I wonder what my actions are teaching my little ones.

After one of the meetings, I was sitting on the couch in the foyer trying to get my daughter to go to sleep. Sitting next to me was a mom and her young son. I couldn't help but to overhear their conversation.

The little boy was upset that he couldn't remember his lines for the upcoming primary program. His mom reassured him that he wouldn't be the only one that had forgotten, and that the teachers would be there to help him. The little boy was still unsure so his mom suggested that they sing a song so he could feel better. They sang Hakuna Matata from The Lion King (how cute is that) and a primary song (I don't remember which one). Then before sending him off to primary they said a little prayer together.

I was so touched by the simple actions of this loving mother. She taught her son that when he is nervous or scared that there are people who love him and want to help him. She taught him that singing a favorite song can help you feel better. She also taught him the importance of prayer in everyday life, in everyday situations. She taught me, through her sweet example, the things that I want to teach my own children.

Thank you Momma for being such a positive example to your son, and to me.

4 Candles

2008-10-15T07:00:00.000-04:00

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Remembrance Day (http://www.october15th.com/).

I will be lighting 4 candles in remembrance of the pregnancies I have lost ( It makes my head spin to think that I have been pregnant 6 times!)

Anyway, if you or anyone you know has experienced a loss I encourage you to light a candle and think of them today.

I Am Going To Do This....

2008-10-07T12:09:00.000-04:00

http://www.bsim.org

I figure if I am going to get myself in shape to run a marathon I might as well run one in one of my favorite places on earth!

Wanderlust

2008-10-06T19:27:00.000-04:00

I've got it bad!

I want to pack up the currently questionably reliable Cruiser and hit the road. I want to open the sun roof, roll down the windows, and blast James Taylor.

I want to head for the coast. Somewhere on the west coast preferably. Somewhere where I can hear and smell the ocean. Somewhere where I can walk the beach looking for beach glass.(Fort Bragg or Monterey ?)

I want to go.

The Journey of 26.2 Miles Begins.....

2008-10-03T14:17:00.000-04:00

with a visit to the podiatrist.

Several months a go Braden and I told our friends Brett and Kathleen that we would run the Disney World Marathon with them. Since I was uber pregnant with Bubba Dos when we made said promise I bought myself a litte over year and a half to get in top running condition. Those of you who know me will know that I am going to need every single day of it :)

Apparently I didn't get started on the right foot. I've been trying to follow a training program but have been experiencing some pretty intense pain.

A quick trip to the podiatrist, a few x-rays, and the verdict is in....I need surgery to fix one of the problems.

Having surgery would not only throw off my training, but what on earth would I do in a walking cast with two babies to take care of?! Not to mention I am anxious to ski this winter.

Taking into account that the surgery is nothing critical, and my intense desire to spend some time on the slopes this winter, and the fact that I need to be able keep my little ones entertained and well taken care of, I have decided to try some custom orthotics ( I sound like such an old lady) and hope for the best.

I am going to try running just 3 miles a day three days a week until my feet feel a little better. In the meantime I'm taking up yoga again.

So, if you happen to see me limping around at church, the grocery store, the park, or Target, or if you happen to be around at 6 am on the days that I run, wish me luck. I think I'm going to need it.

Frazzled

2008-07-27T09:18:00.000-04:00

I decided that I am moving to Utah.

I started what was supposed to be a nice, relaxing, 3 week vacation by getting on an airplane at Dulles Airport. I got off the airplane 4 1/2 hours later in Salt Lake City, and made the decision right then and there that there was NO WAY that I was going to fly back to Maryland by myself with my 2 kiddos.

Have you ever been on a flight where someones child screams and cries the entire time, and every other passenger on the plane is shooting the kid dirty looks, and every minute seems to drag on forever? Well, in this case "that kid" was mine!

To make the adventure all the more adventurous I also got to deal with a diaper blowout and wardrobe malfunction (seriously, don't ask about that one ).

As I was walking to baggage claim I couldn't help but notice all the perfectly coiffed , calm, neatly dressed passengers that were leisurely looking at magazines, checking email on their laptops, casually grabbing a bite to eat, or just watching the airport news monitors. Then there was me......... I felt and looked as though I had been dragged behind the plane during take-off and landing.

I just tell myself that my 2 year old was reminding me how long I waited for him, and how much I wanted children in the first place (Thanks Bubba - I got the message LOUD and clear ;) )

So, to all my friends back in Maryland....its been nice knowing you. If you ever happen to be in Utah drop by for a visit.

Yikes!

2008-07-01T14:25:00.000-04:00

So, I've been craving change lately (Like having a new baby isn't enough to throw anybody for a loop).

I was hoping to get my haircut by the woman who usually cuts it, but our schedules kept conflicting so I broke down and just went to the Hair Cuttery by my local grocery store.

To make a long story short.....I walked in to get my hair cut, and walked out 30 minutes later looking like my hair had been caught in a blender. Thats all I really want to say about that.

Thank goodness hair grows back!

Besides getting my hair butchered, other changes are on the horizon.

I am going to visit my family in Utah for 3 weeks. I miss them terribly. It is hard being the only member of my immediate family not living in Utah (they all live within 30 minutes of each other).

Though being gone for that long will be hard on my 21 month old son ( he is daddy's little buddy), it will be nice to be home.

One more change coming is a strict diet and exercise program.

When I had my son in 2006 I was back to my pre-pregnancy size the day I got home from the hospital. I was wrong to expect that to happen again.

I work with the youth at church, and more than once they have commented how skinny I used to be ( I have to appreciate their brutal honesty).

So, wish me luck with the exercising, and send happy hair-growing thoughts my way :)

A day in the life....

2008-06-12T12:31:00.000-04:00

I'm an at home mom to 2 small children ( one is 21 months, the other just turned 1 month). I love being a mom, but I don't love how unglamourous my life has become.

Yesterday was pretty much the same as all my days are.I was spit-up on no less than 8 times. It wasn't just a little bit of spit. Oh, no....the floodgates were opened. So, here I sit at 12:30 in the afternoon in my pajamas waiting for the washer to finish.

Seeing as it is allergy season around here means there are runny noses. Can you see where I'm going with this? My son used me as a kleenex yesterday. Whenever his runny nose bothered him he would come running to me, give me a hug, then ask for a kleenex. Yup, I got slimed.

Having two small kids means we go through a lot of diapers. Yesterday, against my better judgement, I headed off to Target just before nap time. That was not a good idea. I walked in with 2 fussy kids, and walked out a half hour later with $95.00 worth of extra stuff and kids in full blown melt down mode.

This morning I glanced at myself in the mirror. Yikes! That was scary! The bags and circles under my eyes are huge! My hair looks like straw, and in the month since my daughter was born I can count on one hand the times I've put my contact lenses in.

So is the life of a mom.

I'm not going to take this laying down though (if I did I might fall asleep). I'm going to do something about it. Tonight I'm going to give myself a mini facial. Tomorrow I'm going to get my hair cut. On Saturday I'm going to treat myself to a pedicure (they better have my favorite color back in - O.P.I Deer Valley Spice). Hopefully, I'll be able to notice a difference, and hopefully nobody else will notice the little reminders all over me that I am a new mom :)

Another one bites the dust

2008-06-05T14:47:00.000-04:00

I never thought I would give in to the blogging world. To make a long story short... I was obviously wrong!

So, here it is. A place where my thoughts spill over.

Enjoy.